going in circles

Hard to escape something that you can't define, even more difficult to define an object from inside of it. so it's damn near impossible to think about the other possibilities in life when culture suggests that there is nothing else out there. after all... even if you re-invent the wheel there is nothing you can do that actually distorts the image of a circle.  The best it seems one could do was an oval, but it still seems less functional than the original, and for obvious reasons.

The real solution is the moral equivalent to forgetting that the ground ever existed at all.

Owning freedom

we live in a world full of rules. These rules are supposed to protect us from our own actions. of course they must be... But these laws do not unite our culture. Furthermore, no matter how many laws we make, we will never create, we can not create - an ethical society based upon laws of man. The simple act of writing a law is un-ethical: it represents the domination of power over the submission of the people. We outlaw personal choice, we punish criminals with no victims, and we let corporations and billionaires commit murder and atrocity, all because our laws forgoe everything for profit.

Don't believe me? what do you call global warming? what do you call Haliburton and no-bid contracts? what do you call the hundreds of other international atrocities by America in the name of her people?

I may only be one voice, but one voice alone I am not.

I refuse to take the distinctly American viewpoint that I am somehow innocent of killings committed in my name. I will not, and can not ignore this evil. I will not an can not follow the guidance of a society that has no ethics, no logic, no compassion or love. I can, however, fight that culture by following my own ethics, using my own logic, and giving love and compassion in abundance. If the laws of our society say that my version of these principles is illegal, then my only recourse is to ignore the will of the government, Because I am taking this action in recourse: to right the wrongs that have been committed by that very same government. Just as Iran-Contra used cocaine to fund terrorists the CIA favored, I will use my medicine to support beauty, love, art and music. I realize that freedom is not givin, it can only be taken away; The degree to which you resist is the degree to which you are free.
 

Acts 4 Gnosis

Here and there I have assembled a small collection of bible verses that took note to me, that shined through with hidden knowledge revealed by the light inside. As there are many versions of the bible in print, these verses can easily obscure or clearly reveal this significance. no one version shines clearly through, though i have found that reading the many translations of scripture side by side (@ biblos.com) to be a revealing experience.

Here assembled is the Gnostic cut-n-paste translation of Acts chapter 4. Many verses I consider to be ripe with Gnostic seacrets. some names have been omitted to protect the innocent.  riiight. no shame here.  The text was also influenced by Dr.George lamsa's translation of the Aramaic peshitta bible, I would encourage that this text be read side by side with any other version in hand to illustrate the small number of editorial changes that made beyond the base.


1
When they spoke these words to the people, the leaders of the temple rose up against them,
being infuriated what they teached through the annointing: the ressurection of the living dead.

4
the people were arrested and harassed for a time, yet many who heard the word believed, and the
number who believed grew to be a great legion.

5
and the many leaders gathered together, to demand by what power and in what name this thing was done?

The Faithfull, filled with the holy spirit, said to the leaders of the free world all, listen:

if we are convicted today by you, concerning the good done to the sick, on the ground of by what means they are healed, then let it be known to you and to all people, by the power of the anointing and in the name our one lord, We stand before you, healed.
11
This is the stone wich your builders have rejected, wich is become our corner stone.

There is no salvation by any other path, no spirit by any other name may save us; in the name of Christ only we are healed.

The Rulers all were astonished when they saw the many simple people speaking with strength and boldness, and they recognized they were indeed annointed in the name of the living god. Standindg Before them all the people who had been healed, and they could say nothing against it.

When the people had been taken away from the council, they conferred, Saying, What should we do with these people? for all have seen the miracle performed by them, and none here now can deny it.  To stop the word of this thing we must threaten them, command them never to share the secret word of christ in jesus name again.

18
and so the people were charged to never speak the word of christ, And the people answered, they said to them, if they judge wherether it be right to listen to them more than god, let them judge, For we cannot be silent about the things we have seen and heard.

21
Being so threatened, they let them go. They found no way to punish them, they saw the people praising the living god and they saw all the good that was done, and they saw many people healed who were a great many years old.

When the people were released, they went to their many brothers and told them all what the rulers had said;
When the many brothers heard this, together they raised their voices to The sovereign lord who made Heaven and earth and the seas and all in them that is; ohhhhmmmmm...

25
The one who speaks, by the holy spirit through the mouth of your servant and our ancestors, who speaks in the voice of David: Why do your nations rage and your people desire useless things?

The kings, those rulers of the earth, Revolted and took concil against the living God and against the annointed: Truly, they assembled in every city, The two rulers assembled with many people against the Holy Sun in Christ, To do whatever their hand and their counsel had determined should come to pass.

29
Look and see how they threaten us, O Lord, even now; and grant to your servants that we may be bold and preach your word, just as your hand is freely stretched out to heal, just as many wonders and miracles done in your name, by the holy sun annointed.

31
After this prayer, they were filled with the holy spirit and the place was shaken by the word of god they preached so boldly.

The Believers were now of one soul and one mind, not one of them spoke of what they posessed as their own, for all things to be done for the good of all the people in common.

The people spoke with great power about the living body and the word it spoke, and they were all greatly favored.

34
There was not a one among them who was destitute, for those who had the fields and houses used them wisely and brought together the value that was created, and with the disciples, this good went to each according to their need.

36
and those who had fields did plant them, and brought to the harvest the fruit of their labors for the good of the people and the living god.  


ohhhhmmmmm.....

Pale Blue Popsicles, the most epic story ever told

I find that to get out the really classic idea, whatever it is, if we are ever going to find it at all, we start from a place of absolute absurdity and work our way backwards from there. We need not stay there forever, Beyond when it is no longer comfortable, but it is good to start from there to give the rest of the work flavor. if necessary for the point of the tale we can return there, but I for one think it all the better if we enjoy the weather a bit, even if we do have to stay under cover for the sake of preserving the work.

We can't have all our epic stories undone by having a little bit of rain upon them can we? it would be highly inappropriate, likely even un-beneficial if any harm were to come to this work.

In a sense, it is also most important that no-one know even that I am writing a story, much less this story, because it is so entirely epic a story that it may, if this author is so unlucky, shake to it's very bones the entire structure of our civilisation, much less the neighborhood.

as much as it troubles me to write this, (to live this!) it is my thinking that if the freedom this country claims so fervently to stand upon, it better ought to represent something real, something that people cherish and enjoy and gain real meaning from, rather than just a few words on some old canvass that a few old men agreed upon and declared had some real meaning, to stand forever to preserve liberty for all... Then along came Just'us, the ones who were supposed to provide for a more perfect union and protect us from thugs, started protecting us from ourselves... Because Just'us had run out of thugs to finger otherwise.

So Now we live in fear, like trapped cattle not really sure where or why or how they will come to find us, certain that eventually we will be caught unawares, a bit tipsy perhaps from the let-down of a good trip, doing our completely natural business in a place naturally pursuant to the sort of business we had been doing in the first place, and we had a good time right, and just when we propose to release a bit of that good time back into the world, is just when good old just'us happens to notice us, and Just who could blame them, really, for doing their jobs, being clearly inappropriate conduct for a civilized adult, in this municipality, as if anybody could explain whatever that means.

So how do we, uhh... civilized adults, propose to confront the reality of the uncivilized world before us, and the many ways in which it fails to accommodate anything natural, so that we will all very naturally expire if injunctive relief is not accomplished?

I think it is absolutely necessary that we be clear the solution of our problem is natural. Can we begin to comprehend what the number of individual species that our simple existance currently depends upon?

as I have said, the reality of confronting the issue, in whatever form it may take, is so critical to survival, and I think importantly to our survival in any meaningful way.

This need is like a child, screaming for help in a vast sea of voices that are silent and unwilling to act, not only for the child but especially for ourselves... so helpless we are in pursuit of an abject status of behavior that seems empowered to make decisions, yet fails to decisively act upon any task with significant meaning or consequence beyond the choice of what to eat, and the possibility that we may go hungry if we fail to act or decide...

As it is with most of us... first we avoid all potential consequences before we select a task, if we even take action at all... and so we go about our lives, silently picking the kernels from the floor in whatever most-obedient fashion we conceive for ourselves to act, without any consequential result, good or bad for us to contemplate, save the realty of the natural world we fail to respect or confront.

Here Before us is a realm of potential so full that it is thundering to escape and set free upon the world the force of ideas and of free thought, and yet we confront this mystery cold and alone, cold if only for the fear of another type of heat entirely, and the ways we insulate ourselves from that sort of attack.  We make many of these choices automatically, the only recourse for an idea of civilization so fraught with contradiction.

and so we go about our lives, telling a story with our actions that we dare not be willing to admit to, or the worse of the two, telling a story with our dreams that we never dare be willing to act upon.  And so we see the world in a state of suspended judgement, sometimes in fear of those living a life more substantial than our own, sometimes in fear of those living dead who's nature would contradict our very ability to exist naturally.

So we exist, Living, yet always thirsty for a sensation we are not even aware that we lack.  So we go about the business of living, not even aware (hopefully) of what potential possibilities we failed to realize.  In that sense it seems that if you have the benefit of knowledge, and knowingly take no action even simply to allow discovery by others, that they indeed posses the ability -if they so will it- to open the mind.

Truth is something that has a way of spreading exponentially that has consequences beyond the truth that we are immediately aware of, in a reality that confronts us in a way we never hoped to understand- complete with a set of consequences we completely failed to comprehend prior.  So we live in two worlds, Balanced on a tight rope between the two ideals of honesty and purity, on the one hand fully aware of the value of being fully honest with each other, on the other being petrified by the fragmented concept of purity that we have somehow imposed upon ourselves.

This is the reality of our story, the reality of the world we inhabit, and the basis for our perceptions of each other and the sheer volume of judgement that exists in the fabric of this reality...  Telling this story, shining the light of inquiry upon the actions of fellow travelers will inevitably have a number of consequences for an ever expanding cast of characters, in a number of cases close enough to the reality to potentially be disturbed by the details.

~

I once knew a man who told me in a moment of genuine sincerity with a wise and knowing look upon his eye that all people would follow in my footsteps. It was really the last time I ever saw the man, as he was checked into a state mental hospital about a week later. I spent the next two years hoping to see my friend again.  He was always telling me my own secrets in a very casual way, as if my thoughts had been broadcast via Alpha Bits Cereal.  His total absence of ego regarding the matter gave it all the air that he could read everybody's thoughts in his Alpha-bits.

When they took him, he was running the streets with not a scrap of clothing, somewhere between sniffing the bouquet of a rose and cursing the contradictions all around him in a volume not fitting the hour.  Whatever the story was, every time they released him that is what he would be doing the moment he got an opportunity.   At the time it seemed clear he had tipped himself out of sanity with the help of a few too many magic mushrooms... it took me a number of years to appreciate that reality, not the psychedelics, had drove him crazy.  The drugs had messed with his way of rationalizing all the ugly things that humans have been doing everywhere we exist.

All of that happened a few years ago now, and for me those events have remained vivid in the details of my memory, much more so than the rest of that year.

for a long time I assumed that the mushrooms had pushed him over the edge of a mental collapse... and for a while I lost my enthusiasm/ appetite for the little blue devils... the same that had helped me hurdle over significant obstacles and fears in my hand full of encounters with them...  The disturbance ran so deep in my own mind that my next encounter with them over a year later was no more visionary than a grocery store portabella despite what should have been a respectable dose.  If I were not so confident about my own ability to authenticate P. Cubensis I would have cried foul. I spent some time wondering how the good mind of my friend could be driven mad by a drug that my own mind had the power to disable entirely.

it was a small seed of an idea that eventually grew to realize the possibility that the world we have created with our actions is so far removed from the health and vitality of nature... the damage we do is psychotic. we have been trained and conditioned to accept, tolerate, and even enjoy a lifestyle that should be declared unfit for human consumption ~ our consumption being the primary item unfit.

I have never been able to fully embrace the concept of a systematic all powerful secret society that deliberately feeds from our demise, like some great machine separated from our control.. I do think that a lot of the behavior we learned from a long history of natural, dare say un-civilized behavior that has not been eradicated by our modern ways- no, our behavior now as a collective society is erratic, poorly conceived and always self serving.  Most of us stopped using a diaper as young children- As Adults we have learned  very civilized ways to shit exactly anywhere, and everywhere, with as much force as it takes to stimulate the economy.

That puts me a bit over the edge as well. Knowing that, trying to do anything to change the titanic reality of this sinking ship feels like taking off your floatation device, strapping it to the rail in the hope that it may preserve the ship for future generations... Giving up modern convenience brings up that same sort of feeling- you see the iceberg, you feel the impact, the water is rising, and even though it's totally clear that there are no lifeboats whatsoever, we feel it would be best if anyone came looking to help us, that they clearly find the wreckage of our planet, let them have no doubt as who to blame, pale blue Popsicles in single serving packages who thought they could survive the cold dark ocean of space, alone.

Giving up your only hope of being found dead is the same sort of thinking in my mind as stripping nude and screaming chicken little all over town until the padded wagon takes you away to the land of prescription sedatives and sleeping restraints.

At Least we tried.

~

Freedom Bound

What a curiosity it is that you can get a great many persons to die for the liberty of the world, yet those be often the same who refuse even to take a single step, or any little sacrifice, to be free in themselves from their own individual bondage.

A Sudden Experience

so lets go on then into our visualization,
our immagination,
use your immagination for all it's worth.

to think yourself into the fact that
this whole sense of importance and vitality of aliveness of being,
is simply a sudden experience,

wich was nothing before it started, and will be nothing after it's over.
that is the simplest possible thing you could believe.
it requires no intelectual effort. nothing.

supposing thats the way it is.
now I repeat
what's your inside feeling?

supposing, lets say, you feel, sorry.
for whom is this sorry?
who when it's all over, will there be, to feel sorry?

you may say,
'I regret now that this thing is going to come to an end'
but when it's come to it's end, no one will either regret or eh, be happy about it. that will be that.

who when it's all over,will there be, to feel sorry?

so you can say in a way, well this feeling of sorrow that I have that its going to come to an end is really rather irrelevant because, let me look at the thing from the other direction- supposing it never would come to an end -

in other words, here is this alternation of joy and sorrow, and, however happy i am today I'm always going to feel miserable later on, then maybe happy again and then after that miserable, this is ever never going to stop.. I just cant get rid of the damn thing- well that's pretty depressing isn't it?

The original

O Birther!
Father-Mother of the Cosmos,
focus your light within us—make it useful.
Create your reign of unity now;
Your one desire acts with ours,
as in all light, so in all forms.
Grant what we need
each day in bread and insight.
Loose the cords of mistakes binding us,
as we release the strand we hold of others’ guilt.
Don’t let surface things delude us,
but free us from what holds us back.
From you is born all ruling will,
the power and the life to do,
the song that beautifies all;
from age to age it renews. Amen.

(Peshita Syriac-Aramaic translation, The Lord's Prayer)

Underwear goes inside the pants

Why is marijuana not legal? Why is marijuana not legal? It's a natural plant that grows in the dirt. Do you know what's not natural?
80 year old dudes with hard-ons. That's not natural. But we got pills for that. We're dedicating all our medical resources to keeping the old guys erect, but we're putting people in jail for something that grows in the dirt?

You know we have more prescription drugs now. Every commercial that comes on TV is a prescription drug ad. I can't watch TV for four minutes without thinking I have five serious diseases. Like: "Do you ever wake up tired in the morning?" Oh my god I have this, write this down. Whatever it is, I have it. Half the time I don't even know what the commercial is:
people running in fields or flying kites or swimming in the ocean. I'm like that is the greatest disease ever. How do you get that? That disease comes with a hot chick and a puppy.

The schools now: It is all about self-esteem in the schools now. Build the kids' self-esteem, make them feel good about themselves. If everybody grows up with high self-esteem, who is going to dance in our strip clubs?What's going to happen to our porno industry? These women don't just grown on trees. It takes lots of drunk dads missing dance recitals before you decide to blow a goat on the internet for fifty bucks.And if that disappears, where does that leave me on a Friday night with my new high speed connection?

Masterminds are another word that comes up all the time. You keep hearing about these terrorists masterminds that get killed in the middle east.
Terrorists masterminds. Mastermind is sort of a lofty way to describe what these guys do, don't you think? They're not masterminds.
"OK, you take bomb, right? And you put in your backpack. And you get on bus and you blow yourself up. Alright?"
"Why do I have to blow myself up? Why can't I just:"
"Who's the fucking mastermind here? Me or you?"

Americans, let's face it: We've been a spoiled country for a long time. Do you know what the number one health risk in America is? Obesity. They say we're in the middle of an obesity epidemic. An epidemic like it is polio. Like we'll be telling our grand kids about it one day. The Great Obesity Epidemic of 2004.
"How'd you get through it grandpa?"
"Oh, it was horrible Johnny, there was cheesecake and pork chops everywhere."

Nobody knows why were getting fatter? Look at our lifestyle.I'll sit at a drive thru. I'll sit there behind fifteen other cars instead of getting up to make the eight foot walk to the totally empty counter. Everything is mega meal, super sized. Want biggie fries, super sized, want to go large. You want to have thirty burgers for a nickel you fat mother fucker. here's room in the back. Take it! Want a 55 gallon drum of Coke with that? It's only three more cents.

Sometimes you have to suffer a little bit in your youth to motivate yourself to succeed in later life. Do you think if Bill Gates got laid in high school, do you think there'd be a Microsoft? Of course not.
You got to spend a long time in your own locker with your underwear shoved up your ass before you start to think, "You'll see. I'm going to take of the world of computers! I'll show them."

We're in one of the richest countries in the world, but the minimum wage is lower than it was thirty five years ago. There are homeless people everywhere. This homeless guy asked me for money the other day. I was about to give it to him and then I thought he was going to use it on drugs or alcohol. Then I thought, that's what I'm going to use it on. Why am I judging this poor bastard. People love to judge homeless guys. Like if you give them money they're just going to waste it.Well, he lives in a box, what do you want him to do? Save it up and buy a wall unit? Take a little run to the store for a throw rug and a CD rack? He's homeless. I walked behind this guy the other day. A homeless guy asked him for money. He looks right at the homeless guy and says why don't you go get a job you bum.

People always say that to homeless guys like it is so easy. This homeless guy was wearing his underwear outside his pants. Outside his pants. I'm guessing his resume isn't all up to date. I'm predicting some problems during the interview process. I'm pretty sure even McDonalds has a "underwear goes inside the pants" policy. Not that they enforce it really strictly, but technically I'm sure it is on the books.

The Flower

perhaps I should just use that thing called a youtube channel and link to that. we shall see..

The Light and The Dark

there is an abundance of darkness in the world, bad energy that increases in its power by hurting, suffering, and lack.

there is less light in the world overall than dark at any one moment, and yet the light is stronger in it's creations, resilient and enduring.

darkness can envelop a person from every corner, can make it feel as if the whole world has gone black and all the stars have died, and yet, in spite of all that, it only takes one candle to see the walls around us and send away even the thought of suffering.

Burn Bright!

to exist

there is no life for the seed that never sprouts-
and no freedom for a soul with no voice to shout.

justice, truth, and prosperity-
only for those who risk the cost.

to begin

potent tools for exponential growth
endowed with hand picked virility
bringing down the source of life,
unifying the merit of ideas
growing from the source
from whithin, as without.

Lost track of Heart

it takes a powerfull space
to hold a body in place
in this vast human race
why rush your pace
...to the finish
life in debt
is a slow death
that wont leave you alone
working both hands
to the bone
just so the bosses
can make yours their own?

so how do we cope
at the short end of a rope
They made life a noose
If we are to survive
we must shake loose
may I suggest some
cosmic space juice?
grow some fruit on your tree
its clear you have eyes and
soon enough they may see
I speak my peace
manifesting release
if it tans my hide
I swear I will find
the truth and the life
and the beauty
we seek
for knowledge
that colleges lack
and collectively refuse
to stick to their track
so hand us some slack
when we lay back
in the tree we call life
we all know the law
will burn you out
if your soul is raw
so to the finish I'm going
but not to conclude
I will mess with their day
but not to be rude
if action is lacking
pressure stacking
mentally slacking
your perceptions of safety
we will be jacking
a big house of glass
this is reality cracking

we must find a release
this tyrant must cease
their action spreads
just like a disease
and what are we doing?
just keeping the peace?

Now hear my lesson,
the words that I speak
we duly elected
a Nazi's Grandson
Commander in Chief
over each of our eyes
the wool they did pull
did you know we were fleeced?
So a Hussein is in office
 and we signed the lease
the banks that bought us
have no intent to make peace
  to stop this final solution:
cut loose the purse strings
bring it all to a halt
the whole is greater
than the sum of it's parts
the key to life is living
The gifts we receive
 are givin for giving.

The meaning

If you give birth to the genius within you,
     it will free you.
If you do not give birth to the genius within you, 
     it will destroy you.

It is life that asks us what our reason is, and it is our task to supply the answer with each heartbeat. 

Blind Justice

what we need right here
is the paine of truth
anything else is no use
even if you break down
to the floor and cry
till the day we die
the lies multiply
check the truth
get the truth in your vein
go straight to the brain
to the back of your eyes
where the state truth is a lie
we use to justify
all this race to die
how have we forgotten
that we are alive?

with all that we have
in this taco-hell culture
could we justify the truth?
that is just a lie
we use
for all the death
that we let loose
now it's my turn to cry
I get that it sounds a bit hopeless,
but seriously, as a country...
take a look at the choices we make
...are they healthy?
Will you begin to doubt
the Fuqn Lines
every leader spouts
from their pulpit
while kids in other countries
die in coal pits?
Well i'm sure youve heard
about blood diamonds
but here we are flossing?
I think we get
where this road goes -
an eye for an eye
makes the whole world blind
but if this world stays this way
I might just cut out mine
I can't keep my eyes open
and just ignore
the crime commited is vain
and to think it's been commited
 in god's own God damn name...
is a shame I can't stand
 the ten commandments
Clearly forbade this blood we spill
in our lust to kill while we all sit at home
watching home shopping networks
crossing our fingers
that our next job
comes with health perks
and a platinum gas card
to fuel up the tank
with that prehistoric extinction
that we desperately need
to just barely survive
we sold our souls
for diamonds and gold
but can we take them with
when our hearts grow cold?

So instead we hide
behind the illusion
of hollywood lenses
and cameras, as washington
blows up everyone else.
did you know that urban myth
of depleted uranium
on the way to your cranium
is the death and disease
we spread across the whole world
our only home turf is fertilized
with indigenous bones
while we hang out in starbucks
chewing three dollar scones...

Can we cut down the tree of life
Is it right to give this truth I spit?
I think that black is the new white
so people of any color
can choke on this,
the taxes you pay
and the people it slays
turning in the grave
is the lives of many fertile minds
of children we killed
with land mines and AK's -
Death is the only product
that we export
so tell me now
that your eyes begin to open
can you find a way to stay away
from hell?
I know you didn't know before
but you better dig it now
would you look for a way out
from your share of the war?
I have my own
reasons to rhyme
before the end of my time
so take care where you step
Don't try to find trouble
worst case scenario
Joe tried to rumble
so he could feel strong
but when the fresh pain
subsides,
it fails to hide
the true pain inside
A jail cell without bail
does that idea
make your head swell?
we know its a system
we need to attack
The heart of our culture
choicking on a big mac...
and fries...
These tears?
- I cry
simply
because
we refuse
to open
our eyes...

A Source for water

This story is the river,
we are all the flow

Finding some new pages,
Down the river as we go

Shining light to end the silence,
Ringing bells to end the violence

We have ears and we have listened,
We have eyes and we are a witness

we have feet to find our path
This rebellion grown from the grass

We found a new kind of tomorrow
With plowshares we shall sow

We choose a life worth living
Our roots are strong and slow

We live the life of the water,
beneath all the cities we flow

When the sun rides on to tomorrow,
The moon will show us the road

as no shadow can bear the sight of a flame-
All of us victims know who is to blame:

We grind up our bones to pay for their loans
when could an empire feel like a home?

Well the god's and their thundering cannons
stood on two towers all made of gold

don't care for the good ants down below them,
Bearing more than their share of the load?

While Two Towers fell down in two perfect square holes
A few of us ants knew the lie we were told

Now the war machine will pretend to rebuild
on foundations all blown full of holes

And now we all know they would blow up the world
Just to silence our banners unfurled

on that day the war fields will all be gone
that day the red flowers will all stand alone.